Infinity
by Rosewood girl 317
Summary: Aria Fitz has it all. She's married to the love of her life, and she has a beautiful five year-old daughter named Josie. Even though Aria's life seems perfect, she's struggling underneath the surface. How can she continue to be Josie's Mommy and Ezra's husband without losing the person she used to be? What happens when a single accident changes her outlook on everything? One-shot!


Aria's POV

Pitter-patter, pitter-patter, pitter-patter.

I wake up to the sound of raindrops bouncing off my roof, and making a rhythmic melody for the world to hear. Usually I love the rain. I associate the gloomy weather with romantic movies, cracklings fires, and curling up in bed with a cozy book. But today waking up to a storm does not excite me in the slightest. In fact, I feel sad. Depressed even.

I let out a muffled sigh before rolling over to my husband Ezra's side of the bed, so I can curl up next to him like I do every morning. Wait, Ezra's arms aren't around me. My hazel eyes flutter open, and I gasp in shock when I realize that Ezra isn't in bed with me. Could he be in the bathroom? No, the lights are off. I glance over at my husband's nightstand, and catch sigh of a crinkled note. I take the note in my hands, and read it word by word.

Aria,

Last night after you fell asleep I got an email from the dean of Hollis. He wants to meet with me before my first class so we can discuss the new English curriculum at the university. I meant to wake you to tell you the news, but I didn't have the heart. You always look so beautiful in your sleep. Your coffee is in the kitchen, and I already made Josie's lunch. Have a wonderful day at work, and I can't wait to see you tonight. I love you princess.

-Ezra.

I understand why Ezra had to leave early this morning, but I absolutely hate not waking up in his arms. I feel like I'm already starting the day off on the wrong foot. I glance over at the alarm clock on my nightstand, and sigh in disappointment when I realize that it's already six o'clock. I have to drop Josie off at Kindergarden by seven-thirty, and I have to be at Rosewood High by eight.

Knowing how long it will take to get Josie ready for school, I stumble out of bed and make my way to my five year-old daughter's room. As soon as I enter the bedroom, I take a seat on Josie's bed, and stroke her dark curls softly. How did I end up with someone as precious as her?

Ezra and I always wanted a big family. Before we got married we talked about having four kids; two little boys and two little girls. But that didn't happen. About a year after Ezra and I walked down the aisle together, we decided it was the perfect time to start a family. I was twenty-three years old, and we had enough money to support our first child.

After months of trying with no results, Ezra took me to a doctor. Several tests were done on both of us, and my doctor finally declared me infertile. He told us that we could keep trying, but it was highly unlike that we'd ever conceive. Ezra of course, refused to believe it. He took me to at least ten more doctors, and he paid for every infertility treatment the books. Still, we had no luck conceiving. I was crushed to say the least.

Ironically, the month we started looking at adoption agencies was the month I missed my period for the the first time. I didn't think anything of it, and I assumed that the stress of not being able to conceive caused me to miss a cycle. I didn't even tell Ezra because I didn't want to get his hopes up for nothing. But the next month I missed my period again. That's when I sent Ezra to the store to buy me a pregnancy test. And the results were positive.

I remember everything that happened during the pregnancy. I remember seeing her on the sonogram for the first time, I remember hearing her little heartbeat for the first time, and I remember feeling her kicking in my womb for the first time. I also remember waking up to intense pain and wet sheets a week before my due date.

Ezra rushed me to the hospital, and held my hand the entire time I was in labor. And after an excruciatingly long twenty-seven hours, I gave birth to a beautiful blue-eyed baby girl. My husband and I both cried when the doctors cleaned her off, and placed her in my arms. Even though Ezra and I didn't get the four kids we wanted, we got her. And somehow that was enough. In fact, it was more than enough. After much deliberation, we decided to name our daughter Josie Alexandra Fitzgerald, and neither one of us would trade her for the world. She became our world.

I wipe away the tears that always come along with thinking about Josie's birth as I bend down to kiss my daughter's forehead softly. She stirs slightly, but she doesn't wake.

"Josie-Posie, it's time to wake up." I say as I shake her gently.

"Momma." The five year-old grumbles as she buries her head underneath her pillows.

"I know you're sleepy honey, but I have to get you to school." I tell my daughter seriously.

"Why isn't Daddy taking me?" Josie asks with disappointment in her voice.

Josie's words cause me to sigh sadly. Even though we're extremely close, my daughter is without a doubt a Daddy's girl. She cries for him when she has nightmares or gets hurt on the playground; not me. She's obviously disappointed that Ezra isn't here to kiss her good morning and drive her to school like he does every day.

"Daddy had to leave for work early this morning. Sorry Josie." I tell her apologetically.

"That's okay Momma." Josie says as she climbs out from underneath the covers, and into my arms.

"Josie, how much does Mommy love you?" I ask as I hold the five year-old close to me.

"To the moon an back a million times!" Josie says as she stretches her arms out as wide as they can go.

"That's right my darling." I say before kissing her forehead softly.

"Mommy, how much does Josie love you?" Josie asks with a playful giggle.

"How much?" I ask her curiously.

"To the moon and back a trillion times!" Josie exclaims.

I laugh at the girl's words. As Ezra constantly reminds me, Josie inherited my competitive streak. But I'm not going to let her win this battle. No way.

"Well Miss Josie, I love you to the moon and back a gazillion times." I tell my daughter with a smirk.

Josie frowns, and crinkles her little nose in frustration. She knows I have her beat.

"Mommy, what comes after gazillion?" Josie asks me curiously.

"Nothing. I win." I say as I pull her even closer to me.

"No! I love you to the the moon and back a gazillion times too! That means we tie." Josie says as she shakes her head vigorously.

I chuckle at Josie's words. She's so smart for her age, and sometimes I feel like I'm talking to a teenager instead of a five year-old.

"Okay princess, it's a tie. Now come on! We're already running late, and I have to get you ready for kindergarden." I tell my daughter seriously.

Josie nods before springing out of bed, and running over to her closet. She pulls out her school uniform, which consists of a navy blue jumper and black flats. Even though Ezra and I don't make a lot of money teaching the high school and college levels, we want Josie to have the best opportunities we can give her. That's why we spend all our extra money on private school tuition for our little girl. It's a struggle financially, but it's worth it because our daughter is receiving the best education possible.

"Okay Josie, can you take your nightgown off for me?" I ask the girl.

Josie nods before taking off her nightgown, and handing me the clothes. I help my daughter get into the jumper, and then I zip it up in the back.

I glance over at the alarm clock on Josie's nightstand and gasp in shock when I realize that it's already six forty five! I only have forty five minutes to do Josie's hair, make her breakfast, get myself ready for work, and drive my daughter to kindergarten. I wish Ezra were here. He's so much better at getting these done things than I am.

Without explanation, I pick Josie up and carry her to my bathroom. Next, I take out a hair brush and begin to French braid the curly hair she inherited from her father. After I finish doing my daughter's hair, I quickly put on my dress clothes and put my own hair into a pony tail. By the time we're both dressed, it's seven o'five.

"Josie, what would you like for breakfast?" I ask my daughter softly.

"Make yummy blueberry pancakes with eggs like Daddy does!" Josie exclaims.

"Josie, you know that Daddy cooks much better than I do. I don't think the pancakes would turn out as well as they do when Daddy makes them, and we have to leave the the house in about ten minutes if you want to make it to school on time. How does a bowl of Cheerios sound?" I ask her hopefully.

"Not as good as pancakes, but I'll eat them." Josie says with a heavy sigh.

This is going to be a long day!

Line Break

No words are spoken as I drive Josie to Kindergarden. She's singling along to the princess songs that are playing, while I focus on the road. It's raining really hard, and I hate driving in such horrible conditions.

"Mommy?" Josie asks me suddenly.

"What is it love?" I ask her softly.

"Is today Friday?" She asks me curiously.

"Yes it is." I say with a nod.

"Does that mean you're taking me to the park after school?" She asks me curiously.

Every Friday after Josie gets out of Kindergarden, Ezra and I take her to the local park. Josie loves the play structure, as well as the pond that contains several ducks for her to feed. Although I love spending time with Josie and seeing her happy, I'm not in the mood to go to the park today. I don't know why. Maybe it's the weather, but I feel down.

"I don't know sweetheart. The weather isn't looking too good today." I say as I glance out the window.

"If it stops raining will you take me?" Josie asks me hopefully.

"It's not going to stop raining any time soon Josie-Posie." I tell her apologetically.

"Rain, Rain, go away. Come again some other day. Rain, rain, go away. Little Josie wants to play!" Josie sings as loudly as she can.

I let out a muffled sigh. I can't focus on getting Josie to kindergarden safely when she's singing this loudly. As adorable as she is, I really need her to be quiet.

"Josie..." I start to say.

But she ignores me, and continues to sing.

"Rain, Rain, go away. Come again some other day. Rain, rain, go away. Little Josie wants to play!" She sings even louder this time.

"Josie, you have to keep your voice down. I can't focus on driving while you're practically screaming." I tell her seriously.

"But Momma, I'm making the rain go away." Josie says with stubbornness in her voice.

"Josie, I said..." I start to say.

"Rain, rain, go away. Come again some other day. Rain, rain, go away. Little Josie wants to play!" She screams at the top of her lungs.

My blood begins to boil. Why won't she listen to me? I abruptly pull over, and turn around so I'm looking right at my daughter.

"Josie Alexandra Fitz, I said to stop! I am your mother, and you are to do exactly what I say! If you make another sound for the rest of the trip, I'm not taking you to the park for a month!" I scream furiously.

After I finish my rant, I let out a breathy sigh. I finally got her to be quiet. But not for long. Within seconds, Josie is crying hysterically.

"You're mean! I wish Daddy were here instead of you. He's always nice to me." Josie says through her heavy sobs.

My daughter's words cause my heart to sink. What have I done? Why did I lose my temper? She's five years old, and I shouldn't have screamed at her.

"Josie, I'm so sorry you feel that way. I'm very tired today, and I didn't mean to yell." I tell her truthfully.

"Daddy never yells. I like him better." Josie says as she crosses her arms over her chest.

"I know do, but I love you just as much as he does Josie. I'm sorry for yelling, and I promise I'll make it up to you." I say as tears begin to form in my eyes.

"Momma, you're crying!" Josie says as her eyes grow wide with shock.

"I am." I say with a nod.

"Why?" My daughter asks as her voice softens.

"Because I'm a terrible Mommy." I say as I begin to cry even harder if that's humanly possible.

"No you're not..." Josie starts to say.

"I yelled at you Josie, and that's not okay. I love you so much, and I'm so sorry." I say through my heavy sobs.

"I love you too Mommy." Josie tells me.

"Thank you sweetheart. I promise I won't yell anymore." I say with a sniffle.

"Thanks." Josie says as she avoids looking into my hazel eyes.

"Do you want to sing together honey?" I ask as I restart the car.

"Really Mommy?" Josie asks as her eyes grow wide with excitement.

"Really." I say with a nod.

"Let's sing the rain song!" Josie exclaims.

"Okay." I say with a chuckle.

"Rain, rain, go away. Come again some other day. Rain, rain, go away. Little Josie wants to play." We sing together.

Line Break

I pull up to Josie's preschool and look at her ruefully. This is always the worst part of the day for me. I have to hand my baby girl to a group of adults, and trust that they'll keep her safe for me.

"Josie, I love you so much. Have a great day at school." I say as I try to keep the tears from falling.

"You're crying again!" Josie says with a worried expression on her face.

"I just hate being away from my little princess. I'm going to miss you so much Josie-Posie." I say through my tears.

At that moment, my daughter's face lights up. Why is she so happy all the sudden? Without saying anything, Josie reaches into her backpack and pulls out a shoe box. What in the world?

"Mommy, I got you a present! I was going to give it to you after school, but I want to give it to you now instead!" She exclaims.

She got me a present? How nice of her! Knowing Josie, it's probably one of of her adorable little drawings. I'll hang it on the refrigerator as soon as I get home!

"Thank you so much honey." I say as I take the box, and open it eagerly.

To my surprise, the box is empty. Did she forget to put the drawing inside?

"Honey, this box is empty." I say as I turn to face my daughter.

"It's not empty Mommy! I filled it with my kisses! Whenever you miss me, you can take one of the kisses out of the box and feel all better." Josie tells me seriously.

How sweet of her! I have no idea how Ezra and I managed to raise such a perfect daughter.

"Honey, I think this is the nicest present anyone's ever given me." I tell my daughter truthfully.

"Really Mommy?" Josie asks me skeptically.

"Really. Now give me a hug and go line up with your class." I say as I extend my arms.

Josie wraps her little arms around me, and I silently wish that this moment could last forever. My wish doesn't come true, and moments later Josie pulls away from me and rushes over to her teacher. It looks like I'm going to miss her a gazillion times more than she's going to miss me.

Line Break

After a long day of work, I rush into my living room and collapse on the couch. I can't wait to catch up on sleep! Last night I was up until three o'clock grading essays, and I had to wake up early to take Josie to school. At least I got everything done, so I can enjoy a nice weekend with my husband and daughter.

As I'm thinking this, the door to our house bursts open. It's probably Ezra and Josie. I'm right. At least partly right. I see Ezra, but not Josie. Where is our daughter? Ezra always picks her up from Kindergarden on Fridays. He didn't forget about her, did he?

"Ezra, where is Josie?" I ask as I spring to my feet.

"Relax Mommy. Your mother and father agreed to take her tonight. Remember?" Ezra asks as he begins to approach me.

I completely forgot! On Monday I called my mom and asked if she'd take Josie for the night so I could spend some alone time with my husband. I feel badly that I didn't give Josie an extra kiss since I won't see her again today, but I'm sure she'll have a great time with her grandparents.

"I forgot." I mutter as I approach Ezra and wrap my arms around him lovingly.

"How was work?" Ezra asks, without breaking the hug.

It was horrible! I could hardly keep my eyes open, and Noel Kahn's bratty nephew spent the entire first period whining about the C I gave him on his essay. But I don't want to dwell on the negative parts of my day, and I don't want my husband to worry about me.

"It was fine." I say as I force a smile.

"Glad to hear it baby girl. So what do you want to do? I can take you to see a movie, or maybe we can go to a nice restaurant." Ezra suggests.

Honestly, doing those things sound awful. I'm in a terrible mood, and I'm exhausted. I really just want to relax for a while.

"Ezra, how does a night in sound? We can watch a movie, or do other things." I say as I press my pelvis against his.

Ezra moans in response. We hardly have sex anymore because Josie sleeps with us almost every night. When she doesn't, I'm too tired to do anything other than sleep. Although having sex doesn't sound particularly appealing right now, I know Ezra needs it. I haven't done anything for him since god knows when, and he deserves some pleasure.

"A-A night in sounds amazing." Ezra mutters.

I respond by plating a kiss on my husband's forehead. I love him so much.

"Let's take this to the bedroom." I whisper lowly.

Ezra nods before picking me up, and rushing me to our room.

Line Break

"A-Aria." Ezra moans.

I can tell he's getting close.

"I love you babe." I whisper into his hear.

That's all it takes. I hold Ezra's trembling body close to mine as he releases his warm fluids inside of me. Ezra plants a slobbery kiss on my forehead, before rolling off me and pulling me close to him.

"You didn't come." Ezra says, with an ounce of disappointment in his voice.

"I'm tired today Ezra. It still felt good though." I assure him.

"I hate when you don't come." He mutters.

"I'm sorry." I say with a frown.

"I'm sorry too." Ezra tells me softly.

"Don't be sorry Ez! It was perfect. I love you, and we can do it again when you feel up to it. No pun intended." I say with a giggle.

"You little tease!" Ezra says with a blush.

I respond by offering Ezra a soft kiss on the lips, and cuddling close to him. My husband wraps his arms around me, and kisses my neck gently. When was the last time we cuddled like this? I don't even remember.

"Ezra?" I ask him softly.

"What is it baby?" He asks me gently.

"Do you remember when we made Josie?" I ask him curiously.

"Of course I remember." Ezra says as he pulls me even closer to him.

"It was the first time we'd had sex in a while, and it was raining just like it is now. " I say thoughtfully.

"Uh huh. I think there was thunder too." Ezra says with a nod.

"I've never told you this, but I knew that time was different. It felt like you were giving me a little piece of yourself to love and protect." I say as tears begin to form in my eyes.

"Well, I was. And now we have the most wonderful baby girl on the planet." Ezra says with a slight smile.

My husband's words cause me to burst into tears. We have everything. We have everything, and yet I feel so unhappy. What on Earth is wrong with me?

"Honey, why are you crying?" Ezra asks as a concerned look washes over his face.

"Have you ever yelled at Josie?" I ask him suddenly.

Ezra furrows his brow slightly, and takes a minute to think about my question. Finally, he responds.

"I don't think so. Why?" He asks me curiously.

Of course he hasn't! He hasn't because he's perfect just like she is! Ezra wouldn't dream about yelling at someone as precious as our little Josie.

"I yelled at her today Ezra. I lost my temper, and I made her cry." I say through my tears.

Ezra lets out a breathy sigh. He's probably furious. I yelled at his little princess, and I made her cry.

"Aria, please don't cry. I'm sure you didn't mean it. You've been under a lot of stress recently, and Josie knows how much you love her." Ezra says as his voice softens.

I lay there stunned. He isn't mad at me? I'd almost feel better if he'd scream at me, just like how I screamed at our five year-old daughter. I deserve it after all. But Ezra doesn't know that. He only sees the good in me, and he'd never yell at me, just like he'd never yell at Josie. Why does he have to be so goddamn perfect all the time?

"But you're wrong Ezra! She has no idea how much I love her, because I do a horrible job of showing it. Do you know what she said to me? Josie told me that she loves you more than she loves me, because you're always nice to her." I say as I begin to cry even harder if that's humanly possible.

"Aria, you know she didn't mean it. Josie loves you so much, and I'm sure she was just upset." Ezra says as he places his hand on my back.

"But it is true Ezra! She loves you so much more than she loves me because you're a better person than I am. You're also a better parent, and I resent you for it!" I say as I begin to raise my voice.

Ezra's face falls, and I can tell that I hurt his feelings. Great. I'm a terrible mother and I'm a terrible wife.

"You really resent me?" Ezra asks with hurt in his voice.

"No. That came out completely wrong! Of course I don't resent you! I love you Ezra. It's just that..." I start to say.

"What?" Ezra asks, cutting me off mid sentence.

"I'm jealous of you. You're so good with Josie, and you two have such a wonderful relationship. I just want her to love me as much as she loves you." I tell my husband truthfully.

"But she does! Aria, Josie practically idolizes you! She gets so excited when you take her out for a girl's day, and she always tells me that she wants to be just like you!" Ezra exclaims.

"Well, she shouldn't." I mutter.

"Aria, this is ridiculous. You're an amazing person, and I also want Josie to be just like you when she grows up." Ezra tells me seriously.

"Really? I bet you didn't even suspect that sometimes I wish I weren't Josie's mother! I love her more than anything in the entire world, but at night I lay awake and dream about the life I lived before I gave birth to her. I have no idea what's wrong with me! God gave me this perfect little miracle, and I don't even appreciate her. I have everything I've always wanted, and I'm still unhappy!" I say as I begin to cry even harder if that's humanly possible.

I can't believe I just told my husband the truth! He's finally going to see that I'm a terrible person and grow to hate me. I should have just kept my mouth shut.

"Aria, I understand." Ezra tells me gently.

I knew it! Wait... He understands? How?

"Y-you do?" I ask as my eyes grow wide with shock.

"Of course I do! I understand because I feel the same way you do sometimes. I love Josie, and she's a miracle considering everything that we went through to conceive her, but that doesn't mean I don't miss not being a father. Everything's so much harder now that we're responsible for another human life, and that can be overwhelming at times. But that doesn't mean I'd trade her for anything in the world, and I know you wouldn't either." Ezra says as he stares into my hazel eyes.

"So these conflicting feelings don't make me a terrible person?" I ask my husband skeptically.

"No, not at all. They make you normal." Ezra says before kissing my forehead softly.

"I miss being with you like this Ez. I feel like we never have time to just talk, you know?" I ask my husband as cuddle even closer to him.

"I know. Why do you think I wanted Josie to spend the night with your parents? I miss you too Aria, so much." Ezra tells me softly.

"Let's stop missing each other. We should spend more alone time together. I definitely don't want Josie at my parent's house all the time, but I wouldn't mind having her sleep in her own bed." I tell my husband seriously.

"Trust me, I wouldn't mind that either. I just don't know how to say no to her." Ezra says as he shakes his head in dismay.

"See! This is why you're her favorite." I say with a playful smile.

"I'm not her favorite..." Ezra starts to say.

"Ezra, it's fine. I think it's adorable." I assure him.

"Well, I still don't think I'm the favorite but thank you." Ezra says with a chuckle.

"You're my favorite." I say as I press my lips against his.

"I'm your favorite what?" Ezra asks as he breaks the kiss.

"Man." I say as I intensify the kiss.

"You're my favorite woman." Ezra mutters.

"Is that so?" I ask as I take Ezra's manhood in my hand.

"Aria." He moans.

I'd say my husband is most definitely up to doing it again.

Line Break

I wake up to the sound of my cell phone ringing loudly. What on Earth? I glance over at my nightstand, and sigh when I realize that it's two c'clock in the morning. Who is calling me this late? I pick up my phone and gasp when I realize that my mom has called me seven times. That's when I remember that Josie is with her. What if something is seriously wrong?

"Who is calling?" Ezra grumbles as he buries his head underneath the pillows.

"I-It's my mom." I say as I hold the phone, stunned.

"Well answer it! This could be about Josie!" Ezra exclaims as he sits up abruptly.

I answer the phone, and my hands begin to shake vigorously. What if Josie is hurt? I don't know how I'd go on if something were to happen to her.

"Mom, what's wrong? Is Josie okay?" I ask as I answer the phone.

"No. She's hysterical Aria. She had a bad dream, and she's been crying for you." My mom says with a heavy sigh.

She's crying for me and not Ezra? This is a first! For a moment, I almost feel happy, but then I remember that my baby girl is afraid.

"Can you hand her the phone." I ask my mother.

"Josie, your mommy wants to talk to you." I hear my mother say from the other end of the line.

Within seconds, I hear the sound of my daughter's sobs.

"Mommy, where are you? I had a scary dream, and you're not here!" Josie says through her heavy sobs.

"Baby, I'm at home with Daddy. You're safe, and so are we. I'll see you first thing tomorrow morning." I say, trying to appease the little girl.

"No! I want to see you now Mommy!" Josie says as she begins to cry even harder.

My mom's house is only ten minutes away. Ezra could drive us over there in no time, but it's so late! I glance over at my husband, unsure of what to say or do.

"What do you want to do Aria?" He whispers to me.

"We can't leave her, can we Ezra?" I ask him softly.

"Of course we can't. Tell Josie we'll be there in ten minutes." Ezra says before springing out of bed.

"Josie, we need you to hang tight baby. Daddy and I are coming for you." I say as I follow Ezra out of the bedroom.

"Promise?" Josie asks with a sniffle.

"I promise sweet girl." I tell my daughter.

Line Break

Neither one of us says a word as Ezra pulls into my mother's driveway. Instead, we unbuckle our seat-belts and get out of the car as quickly as possible. We both sprint to the front door, and Ezra begins to knock on it persistently. Within moments my mother answers the door with a crying Josie in her arms.

"Momma!" Josie says as she extends her little arms.

"I'm here baby girl. I'm right here." I say as I take Josie from my mother, and hold her shaking body close to mine.

"I'm here too." Ezra says as he kisses the girl's forehead softly.

"Sorry you two had to cut your alone time short." My mom tells us apologetically.

"It doesn't matter Mom. The only thing that matters to me right now is Josie." I say as I glance down at the five year-old in my arms.

"Well, I'm glad that you're not too upset. I'll call you in the morning." My mom says before offering me a tight hug.

"Please do. I love you." I tell her truthfully.

"I love you too." My mom says with a slight smile.

"Thanks for watching her Ella." Ezra says with a grateful smile.

"It was my pleasure. Ezra, make sure you get my daughter and granddaughter home safely. It's raining so hard, and the roads are so slippery..." My mom starts to say.

"Don't worry. I'll take good care of our girls." Ezra assures her.

"Good. Have a nice night you three." My mom says before waving goodbye, and closing the front door.

"Come on. Let's get her home." Ezra says as he gestures towards the girl in my arms.

I nod before following Ezra to the car, and opening the door to the backseat. I fasten Josie into her booster seat, and offer her a soft kiss on the forehead.

"Feeling better baby?" I ask her softly.

"Uh-huh. Thank you Mommy." Josie says through her tears.

"Don't worry about it baby girl. When we get home, you can sleep in the big bed with Mommy and Daddy." I say, trying to cheer her up.

"Really?" Josie asks as her little face lights up.

"Really." I say before closing the door, and taking my seat next to Ezra.

"You okay back there princess?" Ezra asks as he starts the car.

"Yes Daddy." Josie's little voice says.

"We'll be home in no time." Ezra says before pulling onto the street, and beginning the short voyage home.

It's not but five minutes into the trip when a large white van comes out of nowhere, and slams into the back of our car. The road is so slippery that our car skids across the road. Both my husband and my daughter scream, but I'm too shocked to do anything, or to even begin to comprehend the situation. When our car finally stops moving, I let out a sigh of relief. It's over.

I glance over at my husband, who looks shaken, but doesn't have a bruise on his body. Thank God!

"A-Aria... Are you alright?" Ezra asks me gently.

"Yeah I'm fine, are you?" I ask through my heavy breathing.

"I'm fine. How about you Josie-Posie? Are you okay sweetheart?" Ezra asks as he turns to face our daughter.

But he doesn't get a response. All of the sudden, Ezra screams, and begins to cry out in agony. Out of sheer panic, I turn to face Josie, and I gasp in shock at the sight in front of me. Josie isn't moving. Her little body is limp, and blood is oozing out of the side of her head. She's hurt. My baby girl is hurt. I don't say a word. I can't say a word.

"Aria, call 911!" Ezra screams.

I try to reach for my phone, but I can't move. It's like I'm frozen in time. Josie. Josie is hurt. I have to do something. But I can't do anything. I can't even move.

"For the love of God Aria!" Ezra growls before unbuckling his seatbelt, and reaching for my phone.

"This is 911. What is your emergency?" I hear a voice on the other end if the line ask.

"My daughter is hurt! We've been in a car accident, and she's losing a lot of blood. She's not moving, and it doesn't look like she's breathing." Ezra says through his heavy sobs.

"Don't touch her. You might worsen her injuries. We'll send an ambulance over right now." The woman says before hanging up the phone.

And that's when it hits me. Josie's life is in danger. I might lose her. My little angel. My reason for living. My beautiful blue eyed baby girl. I feel sick. Absolutely sick.

"Oh my... What am I... Ezra!" I say through my tears.

"Just stay calm Aria. Help is on the way." Ezra says as he rests a hand on my back.

I nod, and stare at my seemingly lifeless daughter. Why did she have to be the one who got hurt? I would gladly take her place, and I know Ezra would too.

"Don't take her. Please don't take her." I say as I look up at the sky, and begin to cry even harder.

At that moment, several ambulances pull up. A group of paramedics sprint over to our car, and begin to question Ezra as they gently remove Josie from the back seat.

"Does your daughter have any medical problems we should know about?" One of the men asks Ezra.

"She's allergic to penicillin. When she was just a little baby our pediatrician prescribed it for her and she got a terrible rash..." Ezra says as he begins to cry even harder.

"That's good to know sir, but I doubt we'll need to give her penicillin. I'm assuming you and your wife are her legal guardians?" The man asks as he gestures towards me.

"We are." Ezra says with a nod.

"Are either one of you hurt in any way?" He asks us seriously.

"I'm okay. I just want to make sure she is." Ezra says as he rests a hand on my back.

"Are you okay Ma'am?" The paramedic asks me gently.

Am I okay? If course I'm not okay! Someone is hauling Josie onto a stretcher as we speak! I might be fine physically, but I feel like I might need a heart transplant, because mine feels like it's about to burst.

"I'm okay." I mutter as I avoid looking into his eyes.

"Well, I'm assuming you want to ride with your daughter to the hospital. Is there anything you need from the car?" The man asks us.

"Nothing. Just save our baby." Ezra says through his tears.

My eyes dart over to the glove compartment and I think of something I need to bring. How could I have forgot about the present Josie gave me this morning? She filled a box with her precious kisses, and I just left it in here. Why didn't appreciate it? Why didn't I appreciate her? I open the glove compartment, and pull out the beat up shoe box. I hold the shoe box close to me, and imagine little Josie kissing it over, and over again so I wouldn't have to miss her. I'm never letting this out of my sight again.

"Aria, what is that?" Ezra asks me curiously.

"It's a shoe box. Josie gave it to me this morning before I dropped her off for preschool. She told me she filled it with her kisses so I'd never have to miss her." I say through my heavy sobs.

At first, Ezra looks at me like I'm crazy. But then an entirely new look washes his face. It's the same look he gave me after he found me on the Crazy Train in high school, and it's the same look he gave me when we found out I was infertile. It's a look of absolute sympathy. He realizes that I'm in a fragile state, and he doesn't know how to keep me from falling over the edge.

"Let's bring it with us. Would you like that honey?" Ezra asks me gently.

I nod, before getting out of the car, and climbing into the ambulance. Ezra follows me, and we both stand next to Josie's stretcher. Her eyes are sealed shut, and blood is pouring out of the right side of her head. Last week I cried when she got stung by a bee, and this is ten thousand times more traumatizing than a little bee sting!

It takes less than a minute for the paramedics to close the back of the ambulance, and speed towards the direction of the nearest hospital. Several paramedics swarm around my daughter, and begin to perform various tests on her.

"Her vitals are low. I think she's having trouble breathing." I hear someone shout.

"It's a punctured lung. Give her oxygen now! Someone else call the hospital and tell them to prep one of the ER rooms for a five year old girl with fatal injuries." The lead paramedic shouts through all the commotion.

"F-fatal injuries?" Ezra asks as his face turns white.

No one answers because no one here is concerned with comforting the mom and dad. They're worried about keeping Josie alive. But do they have any idea how much she means to us? I wonder if they know that Ezra keeps a picture of Josie in his wallet, or that he tears up when he has to leave for conferences because he always misses her so much. I wonder if they know that I keep her baby teeth in the drawer next to my bed, or that I still have the pink onesie I brought her home from the hospital in. I wonder if they know that if Josie doesn't make it, a piece of us will die with her.

"Can someone tell us what's going on?" Ezra asks as he begins to raise his voice.

"We're not completely sure yet. As of now it looks like one of her ribs punctured her left lung, and she has some type of a head injury." One of the men says as continues to work on Josie.

Ezra lets out a soft whimper. He looks like he's about to pass out, and he's probably just as devastated as I am. Even though Ezra loves me with all his heart, I'm not his girl anymore. Josie is. The first time I watched him hold her was the second time I watched him fall in love. She has his heart, and if she dies, she'll take it up to heaven with her. Does that mean Ezra will have to spend the rest of his life walking around with a giant hole in his chest that can never be filled?

"Ezra, come here." I say as I extend my arms.

Ezra buries his face in my chest and begins to sob even harder if that's humanly possible. I hold his shaking body close to mine, and rub small circles around his back. Usually Ezra comforts me in these kinds of situations, but now it's my turn to comfort him.

"She's going to be fine Ezra. She has to be." I say, trying to convince him and myself.

"We're here!" A paramedic shouts.

The men lift Josie's stretcher, and rush her into the ER. Ezra and I follow them, and do everything we can to not let Josie out of our sight. What if this is the last time I see her alive? Stop it Aria!

"Mr. and Mrs. Fitz, you're going to have to wait outside." One of the doctors tells us apologetically.

"No! Absolutely not! I'm that little girl's father! She needs me, and I'm going going to leave her." Ezra screams furiously.

"Sir, we know this is scary for you but we need to operate on your daughter. The sooner we get the surgery started the sooner you'll be able to see her." The doctor tells Ezra.

"Surgery? You're going to cut her open like a vegetable?" Ezra asks as his eyes grow wide with shock.

He is not taking this well. I need to calm my husband down. I want the doctors to start working on Josie as soon as possible.

"Ezra honey, just breathe. They know what they're doing, and they're going to do everything they can to help Josie." I tell him gently.

"Your wife is right Mr. Fitz. Please just let us do our job. We'll send a doctor out to speak with you about Josie in a few minutes." The man says as he shoots me an appreciative glance.

Ezra sighs, before giving the man a nod. That was way easier than I thought it would be. As soon as everyone is gone, Ezra begins to puke all over the hospital's floor. The poor guy is probably in shock.

"Oh Ezra! Let's sit down. One of the nurses can clean that up. Just breathe, okay love." I say as I try to lead him towards the chairs.

But Ezra doesn't move. He just stands there frozen.

"I killed her Aria. I killed our baby." Ezra says with panic in his voice.

"What? No you didn't! She's not dead, and this isn't your fault Ezra!" I exclaim.

"I-I killed her. I promised your mom I'd get you both home safely, and I didn't." Ezra says through his tears.

"There wasn't anything you could have done! That car came out of nowhere!" I remind him.

"I-I'm her father. I was supposed to protect her." Ezra says as he begins to hyperventilate.

"Ezra, please sit down. I'm worried that you're going to have a panic attack." I tell him sternly.

Ezra complies, and he collapses onto one of the chairs. Then he buries his face in his hands, and begins to weep bitterly. I take a seat next to him, and rub his back gently. My poor baby.

"A-Aria?" Ezra asks me suddenly.

"What is it Ezra?" I ask him gently.

"C-Can I have one of her kisses?" Ezra asks as he gestures towards the shoebox in my arms.

I nod, before handing Ezra the worn out box. He opens it carefully, before reaching into the box to "grab" one of the kisses. Then he takes his cupped hands and places them over his heart. More tears begin to form in my eyes, and I realize that I need one of Josie's kisses too. I mimic Ezra's actions, and begin to cry along with him.

"Do you think this is my fault?" I ask him suddenly.

"Aria, what are you talking about?" He asks with confusion in his voice.

"Earlier I told you that sometimes I wish I weren't Josie's mom! How could I even think that? It doesn't matter because I thought it, and now I might lose her. Is this God's way if punishing me? Is he going to take back the greatest give he's ever given to me?" I ask with agony in my voice.

"Aria... We talked about this earlier. Those were normal feelings. This isn't God's way of punishing you." Ezra says as his voice softens.

"But... But..." I start to say.

"But nothing. I'm not going to let you beat yourself up over this honey. Can I please ask you a serious question?" Ezra asks as he reaches for my hand.

"Sure." I say with a nod.

"What do you see yourself being in five years?" He asks me softly.

What kind of question is that? Our daughter is hurt, and he's asking me a philosophical question? I guess I want to be... I don't know. Actually, yes I do. Only one thing pops into my mind.

"I see myself being Josie's mommy. I want to be her mommy for the rest of my life..." I say as I begin to sob even harder.

"I know you do baby girl. You love Josie more than anything, and anyone with half a brain can see that. You appreciate her, and you're an amazing mommy. You deserve someone like her in your life." Ezra says through his tears.

"What I lose her? I can't see myself being anything but her Mommy. Does that mean my life will just be over? Maybe I'd be better off dying with her." I mutter.

"Jesus Aria! Don't say that!" Ezra tells me seriously.

"I-I'm sorry. I just love her so much..." I say through my tears.

"I know honey. I love her too." Ezra says as he wraps his arms around me lovingly.

"I-I swear if she survives I'll never yell at her again. I'll never dream about not being her mommy, and I'll never go a day without kissing her." I sob into Ezra's chest.

"I'll never go golfing again. I'll stay home with her on weekends, and take her to the park to play. I'll let her sleep with us every night, even if it means I never get to touch you again." Ezra says in response.

Well that sounds... awful. I get where he's coming from though. If never having sex with Ezra again would somehow keep Josie alive, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I'd do anything to keep her alive. Even if it meant killing myself.

"Mr and Mrs. Fitz?" I hear a raspy voice say.

Ezra and I both look up, and we see a man in his early fifties standing before us. I'm assuming he's Josie's doctor. Is he going to tell us what's wrong with her? Could this be the moment of truth.

"I'm Dr. Phillips. I just wanted you two to know that Josie is in surgery right now. Her rib punctured her lung, and we're trying to save some of the tissue so she can breathe correctly. She has a pretty major concussion, and three broken ribs, but nothing looks fatal. Your daughter is going to be fine." The doctor says with a slight smile.

I feel like a giant burden has been lifted off my shoulders. Josie is going to survive. I'll get to be her mommy for the rest of my life! God decided to let me keep the greatest gift he's ever given to me, and I'm so grateful.

Ezra responds by picking me up, and spinning me around happily. All the color seems to be back in his face, and he doesn't look so... So broken anymore.

"Aria, she's okay! She's really okay!" Ezra says through his heavy sobs.

"When can we see her?" I ask the doctor curiously.

"Well she's still in surgery, but I'm assuming she'll be out in a few hours. You two can go home, or you can just wait here..." He starts to say.

"We're not leaving this hospital without Josie. Can you please let us know when we can see her?" Ezra says, cutting him off mid-sentence.

"Of course. Feel free to page me if you have any questions about your daughter." The man says before shaking my husbands hand, and leaving the waiting room.

I'm still in shock over everything that's happened. First we get in a car accident, then we hear that Josie's injuries might be fatal, and now we know that she's okay! Thank God!

"Oh Aria! I don't think I've ever been so happy!" Ezra says as he holds me close to him.

"Josie. Our little Josie." I mutter.

"Why don't you try to get some sleep honey. You look exhausted." Ezra says as he rests a hand on my back.

"Sleep? I can't sleep until I see Josie." I say as I begin to shake my head vigorously.

"Honey, she's going to be fine. Her doctor just told us. You being awake isn't going to help her, and I think you should just rest your eyes for a while. I promise I'll wake you when we can see Josie." Ezra says, trying to coax me.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that sleep sounds fantastic. I got no sleep last night because of work, and I didn't get much sleep after my activities with Ezra either. Maybe a quick nap wouldn't hurt.

"You'll wake me up as soon as we hear something about Josie?" I ask Ezra seriously.

"Yes. Now please close your eyes." Ezra begs.

I give him a small nod, before resting my head on his strong chest and closing my hazel eyes.

Line Break

I wake up to my husband shaking me gently. Josie must be awake. Is it finally time for us to see her?

"Honey, I just talked to Dr. Phillips. The surgery went perfectly. Josie is still sleeping, but we're allowed to see her." Ezra tells me softly

I immediately spring to my feet, and follow Ezra into our daughter's hospital room. I can't wait to see my baby, so I can know for sure that she's okay. However, upon entering my daughter's hospital room I get the exact opposite feeling.

Josie is laying on the hospital bed, and her eyes are sealed shut, just as they were moments after the accident occurred. Several machines are attached to her fragile body, and bruises and cuts cover her naturally pale face. My poor baby. I immediately burst into tears, and Ezra embraces me lovingly.

"Aria, it's okay. Those machines are there to help her. Josie is fine." Ezra reassures me.

"B-but Ezra... She looks so hurt." I say through my tears.

"She does, but she's going to be okay Aria. Dr. Phillips thinks that she'll be released from the hospital in a few days." Ezra says, trying to calm me down.

I nod, before walking over to my daughter and peering over her. Ezra pulls me close to him, and does the same.

"She's beautiful Aria." Ezra says through his tears.

"She is beautiful and perfect in every single way." I say as I grab one of Josie's dark curls, and tuck it behind her ear.

"She looks like you." Ezra mutters as he admires the little girl.

Does she? I always thought Josie looked more like her father. I take in the girl's features, and mental confirm what I already knew. The little girl looks like Ezra.

"Well, she has your blue eyes." I remind my husband.

"But she has your adorable nose." My husband says with a smirk.

"She has your dark curls." I fire back.

"She has your round face." Ezra says after thinking about it for a minute.

What else did Josie inherit from her father? I can't think of any other physical features, but I can think of several personality traits.

"She's sweet just like you are." I tell my husband truthfully.

"No Aria! We were talking about who she looked like. That doesn't count." Ezra says as he begins to shake his head vigorously.

"And I'm the competitive one?" I ask as I roll my eyes in annoyance.

"Uh huh. Josie inherited her competitive nature from you." Ezra says as he nudges me playfully.

I'm about to protest, but before I can a soft cry rings out in the room. My eyes dart over to my baby girl, and tears of joy begin to form in my eyes when I realize that she's awake. My happiness washes away when Josie begins to cry hysterically.

"Josie, what's wrong? Why are you crying baby girl?" I ask as I wrap my arms around my daughter lovingly.

"I don't know where I am, and my head hurts." Josie says through her heavy sobs.

Poor Josie. This must be so scary for her. How do we tell her about the accident without upsetting her more? I glance over at Ezra, and silently pray that he'll take the lead on this issue.

"Baby, we're in the hospital. There's no need to be afraid. You're perfectly safe, and Mommy and Daddy are right here." Ezra says as he grabs Josie's hand.

"H-hospital? Am I sick? Do I have to get a shot?" Josie asks as her eyes grow wide with fear.

"No honey. You're not sick, and you're not getting any shots." I assure her.

"So why am I here?" Josie asks with confusion in her voice.

I don't want to tell her. I glare at Ezra, and silently beg him to explain everything to Josie.

"Sweetheart, we were in an accident. You slept over at Grandma and Grandpa's house, and you woke up from a scary dream in the middle of the night. Mommy and I decided to pick you up, and on the way home a white van slammed into us..." Ezra says before he bursts into tears.

"Daddy, you're crying!" Josie exclaims as her eyes grow wide with shock.

"I am my sweet princess." Ezra says through his tears.

"What's wrong? You never cry Daddy." Josie says with a puzzled expression on her face.

"Oh Josie, we thought we were going to lose you." Ezra says as he wraps his arms around Josie, and holds her so close that I doubt she can breathe.

"Why would you lose me? Did you think I'd fall out of the car and roll down a giant hill or something?" Josie asks with confusion in her voice.

That's when it hits me. Josie doesn't understand. She's taken the word "lost" literally. I'm about to explain what Ezra really meant, but before I can he speaks up again.

"Yes Josie. That's exactly what we thought would happen. We thought you'd fly out of the car, and land on the other side of the world." Ezra says as winks at me.

I understand why Ezra doesn't want to tell her the truth. Josie is still young, and innocent. Right now she thinks she's invincible, and I don't want to ruin that for her.

"That's silly Daddy! If I landed on the other side of the world, I would just go on a plane and fly back to Rosewood." Josie says with a giggle.

"We didn't think of that at the time. That's why I was so happy that I had the present you gave me." I say as I pull the small shoe box out of my bag.

"You used my kisses!" Josie exclaims as her face lights up with excitement.

"I did. I missed you so much while you were napping, that I used up all of your kisses! I might need a refill baby." I say as I hand her the box.

Josie takes the box, and kisses the inside of it several times. Ezra and I both chuckle, as we watch our beautiful baby girl share her love with us. I wonder what she remembers. Does she remember me yelling at her? Probably, since she remembers the box.

"Honey, what was the last thing you remember doing?" I ask my daughter curiously.

"I remember Grandma reading me a bedtime story, and kissing me goodnight." Josie says after thinking about it for a minute.

"Do you remember the talk we had yesterday morning when I got you out of bed?" I ask Josie as my voice softens.

"Yes I do. You told me to hurry up so I wouldn't be late for kindergarten." Josie says after thinking about it for a minute.

"Do you remember what we talked about before that?" I ask her seriously.

"Yes. You told me that you loved me to the moon and back a gazillion times!" Josie exclaims.

"Well I was wrong. I don't love you to the moon and back a gazillion times." I tell her truthfully.

Josie's face falls. I can tell that my words hurt her feelings.

"I love you to the moon and back an infinite number of times." I say as tears begin to spill out of my hazel eyes.

"Momma, what does infinite mean?" Josie asks with confusion in her voice.

"Infinity is a number that goes on forever. It works for this situation because there isn't a word or a number that can even begin to describe how much I love you Josie. Even though we fight sometimes, you're my best friend in the entire world." I say before planting a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm your best friend? I thought Auntie Spencie and Daddy were your best friends!" Josie tells me.

"No. I love Daddy and Auntie Spencie very much, but you're my baby Josie. My sol purpose in life is to take care of you, and I'd do absolutely anything for you." I say as I stare into my daughter's blue eyes.

"I'd do anything for you too Josie. If there's anything you ever need, just let me know." Ezra says as he rocks Josie in his arms.

"I really need a pony. Can you buy me a pony Daddy?" Josie asks Ezra hopefully.

"Of course..." Ezra starts to say.

"No! We're not getting her a pony Ezra! Where on Earth would we keep it?" I ask, trying to snap my husband out of whatever daydream he's living.

"It can sleep in my room." Josie says immediately.

"Honey, you don't want a pony in your room. It would smell horrible, and it would probably keep you up all night." Ezra says with a chuckle.

"No it wouldn't. I'd move in with you and Mommy silly!" Josie says with a giggle.

Ezra and I exchange a nervous glance. We promised we'd never have sex if it meant keeping Josie in our lives. But I doubt that promise was what saved her. I don't think God would mind if we bent the rules a bit...

"How about we just take you to the zoo? You can ride the ponies there." Ezra offers.

"Okay Daddy!" Josie says as she nods her head eagerly.

The zoo? We take Josie to the zoo at least once a month. After everything that's happened tonight, I want to do something extra special for her. Finally, the perfect idea pops into my brain.

"I say we go to Disney World!" I exclaim.

Josie and Ezra both stare at me shocked. Ezra's the fun parent, and I'm the rational one, especially when it comes to saving money. They probably can't believe that I'd be willing to go to Disney World on a whim.

"Are you joking Mommy?" Josie asks me skeptically.

"Absolutely not! As soon as we get the okay from your doctor, I'm taking you to Disney World for an entire week. We can even buy you a new princess dress to wear for the occasion." I tell my daughter seriously.

"Oh boy!" Josie says with excitement in her voice.

"Aria, are you sure you didn't hit your head or something?" Ezra asks in a humorous tone.

"Be quiet Ezra! You're not the only fun parent around here." I say with a triumphant smile.

"I know that sweetheart. You're a fun parent too." Ezra says before kissing my forehead softly

"You sure are Mommy! I've always wanted to go to Disney World." Josie squeals.

"Well, your wish is our command princess. I'm so excited to spend some quality time with my two best girls. I can't even remember the last time we went on vacation." Ezra says with a warm smile.

"We're going to be going on a lot more vacations Ezra. Josie isn't going to be this little forever, and it want to enjoy her while she's still ours." I tell my husband seriously.

"I do too." Ezra says in agreement.

"Is this real life?" Josie asks us in amazement.

"Yes it is Josie-Posie. I don't always do a great job of showing you how much I love you, but that's going to change. We're going to have a lot more family time, and a lot more Mommy and Josie time from this point forward." I tell my daughter seriously.

Josie responds by crawling out of Ezra's arms, and into mine. I hold her warm body close to me, and rub her back gently. I wish she could stay this little forever, but I know she can't. Soon Josie will be a teenager. And after that she'll be young woman. She'll graduate from high school, go to college, and fall in love. Ezra and I will have to give her to a man who isn't nearly good enough for her, and we'll lose our baby girl. That's why I should enjoy her while she's still mine. I have the rest of my life to spend with Ezra, but I only get a few short years with my little Josie. These are the days I'm going to remember for the rest of my life.

"I love you Josie-Posie." I say as I shower the girl's face with kisses.

"I love you too Mommy." Josie says as she cuddles closer to me.

"Promise me something." I tell her seriously.

"What Mommy?" She asks me curiously.

"Never stop being my girl." I say as I stare into her blue eyes.

"I promise Momma!" Josie exclaims as she buries her face in my chest.

And in spite of everything that's going to happen in the future, I believe her.

An: What did you think? This was definitely more of a mother/daughter story than an Aria/Ezra story. I just love the relationships that mothers have with their daughters, and I wanted to capture that in this story. Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed. Please review and tell me what you thought! Have a great weekend!


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